+ love bomb for rachel +

Hey everyone. ­čÖé

Most of you know that I run a little organization/deal thing called Love Bomb. It’s really simple. Every Thursday the entire team comes together to “drop a love bomb” on one blogger who really needs encouragement. Really really really needs encouragement.

Today’s Love Bomb mission is a 17 year old girl named Rachel. I’d love for all of you to help participate in this – it only takes 5 minutes, and it drastically changes someone’s entire life.

Rachel lost her dad and ever since has dealt with eating disorders, and is struggling through life without him. Her mom avoids serious conversations with her and she is afraid to get help. She’s in counseling, which is wonderful – but we all know how irreplaceable personal words of encouragement are.

In one of her recent posts, she bullet-pointed a list of things she had to show for nearly being 18:

– I drink too much
– I have social anxiety
– I’m failing school
– I’m ugly
– I’m fat
– I can’t even get the courage to meet my own sister
– I lack the energy to even fake happiness
– I have recurring thoughts of self-harm
– I keep relapsing into “disordered eating behaviours”

In her last post, the one we’ll be commenting on, she ends with,

“What I need is some inspiration. I need someone I admire to tell me every thing’s going to be alright. That they believe in me. That I’m not the fat failure I think I am. – unfortunately I can’t see that happening any time before it’s too late, if it’s not already too late.”

Alright guys. We ARE Rachel’s inspiration, encouragement, love, and support. It’s time to tell her how beautiful and valuable she is. I want to blow her away.

To comment on her blog, go here: http://whatyouneverknewaboutme.blogspot.com/2010/08/get-motivated.html

– – –

If you want to do this with me every Thursday, put your name and email address here:


+ happy birthday, lydia! part one. +

I originally wasn’t going to post these, because they were taken late evening and came out very noisy…my camera doesn’t handle high ISO very well. ­čÖü

But, Paige told me to blog them anyways, so here I am and here they are.

Lydia’s birthday was this past weekend and we went to a crazy outdoor play at the park in German Village. Wine, cheese, and my pretty girls.

Happy birthday, darling. You mean the world to me. You are so pretty. <3 I love summer.

{ It was I who taught her to walk,
taking her by the arms;
but she did not realize it was I who healed her.
I led her with cords of human kindness,
with ties of love;
I lifted the yoke from her neck
and bent down to feed her.
Hosea 11:3-4 }

+ jessica. +

Full shoot is here. Isn’t she gorgeous?

But your dead will live;
their bodies will rise.
You who dwell in the dust,
wake up and shout for joy.
Your dew is like the dew of the morning;
the earth will give birth to her dead.
{Isaiah 26:19}

+ heidi and josiah +

This past week I did a shoot of Heidi & her little man, Josiah. The entire stream is here, but these are my favorites.

I’ve been inspired lately to shoot more candids, and to break more rules than normal. It’s paying off.

I also am finding myself wanting to blog more than I typically do. I’ve been having approximately two major revelations per day and I feel obligated to share them. Growing up does this to us. As does Jesus.

{He has made everything
beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity
in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom
what God has done
from beginning to end.}

+ ache +

there is an ache that never goes away. never ever.

i used to think this was you refusing to heal me, refusing to comfort me.

refusing to be the god that i need you to be.

proof that you are not the god you say you are.

but now i see that it exists to bring me to you, in desperation.

because you knew how human i was. and am.

you knew that if you comforted me the way i asked, i would never come back to you.

thank you for the pain.

for having enough compassion on me to allow me to have my heart ripped apart so that i would be able to seek you and run to you.

not because i wanted you, but because i need you..

+ a painting: this is captivity +

This is an old painting of mine that I realized I wrote a bit about (most of my larger pieces of art are inspired by writing) and felt like blogging about it. It is titled “This Is Captivity.” The text is blockquoted below, with more explanation and thoughts underneath. My perfectionist self disappeared when I got to the script – for some reason at the time I didn’t care much for the painting and didn’t bother taking my time to do the script well. Live and learn.

Held in captivity long enough and your reality changes. Your vocabulary that of an optimist without hope. Your sunrise a rainy afternoon – your freedom an extension of your chain by a few more guilt ridden links. Mourn for an illusion so that your heart is not allowed recognition of death. The color of life fades until you are unsure of even the outlines of the faces you once knew. You struggle only against your own strength instead of that which binds you. This is captivity.

Captivity is traditionally defined as imprisonment, confined to a space, a being that has been domesticated and is now kept so. A captive being one taken in a state of war.

I believe captivity is much broader than what we limit it to through our primarily historical concepts of military wars, battles, and physical force. Captivity is the enemy of freedom; it’s absence, the lack thereof. Most people are truly not free.

Imprisonment is not simply living within stone walls, it is the restraint and bondage of the true self. Confinement is not simply forced seclusion, it is the lack of the experience of joy and full life. Domestication is not only an acceptable method of bettering what we own, it is the adaptation of a should-be valued heart for another’s purposes or use.

I have watched many close to my heart be taken into captivity as a result of a numerous misbeliefs, untruths, pride, unlove, and ungrace. I have re-written “captivity” as I see it, and sought to portray the captivity of a woman I know. She is held by no physical force, but her heart has most certainly been taken into captivity. The script references that which is closest to her heart, and the doorways through which captivity has slowly and wholly crept in unnoticed; what she has lost and become numb or blind to, and how captivity re-writes our view of reality.

Symbolism in this painting includes the patterned hearts in the background, representing the fact that captivity often comes in the form of patterns, repetition, and dull same-ness; also by what is closest to you. The blindfold for the loss of ability to see that which is before you. The script placed over her chest representing the weight and heaviness captivity holds over the heart. The absence of all five features except for the lips; captivity seems to bring a subconscious, overwhelming hunger and need for anything to bring back the illusion of life. In this woman, I have watched her sexuality, beauty, and femininity numb the pain of everything else she has lost. This is what she still clings to; I believe something deeper still knows that her original self is More..

+ life snapshot +

reading: that hideous strength by cs lewis

following: fuckyeahtheuniverse.tumblr.com

tweeting: twitter.com/good

doing: dropalovebomb.tumblr.com

learning: astronomy

missing: lydia

listening to: thistle & weeds by mumford & sons

drinking: java frap

wearing: salvor, lofli jeans, toms

– – –

I want to start doing this more often. Yes?.

+ interplanetary & marine inspiration +

lift up your eyes and look
to the heavens
who created all these?
he who brings out the stars one by one
and calls them each
by name.
because of his great power and strength
not one of them
is missing.
is. 40.26

*note – not all space photos are interplanetary.